SomeoneMovie Review: Bordello of Blood
July 18th 2010 10:53
Plot: An overzealous reverend (Chris Sarandon) obtains a mystical artifact that allows him to control the vampire queen, Lilith (Angie Everhart). He uses her to create a bordello full of vampires, with the intention of using them to wipe out all of the towns sinners. Meanwhile, a down-on-his-luck detective, Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by reverend's assistant Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing brother, Caleb (Corey Feldman). Guttman uncovers the secret behind the bordello, and tries to prove it to the rest of the town before the vampires turn him into lunch.
Bordello is the second part of the Tales from the Crypt trilogy, following 1995's Demon Knight.. Unfortunately, due to it's poor reception at the box office, the third installment was canned. However, after 2001's Ritual also performed poorly, it was retrospectively added to the trilogy.
Now, I loved Demon Knight, and so I had high hopes for this one. Like it's predecessor, I had seen this one way back when I was just a wee lad, and I have fond memories... and, again, it has held up well. It has gore, it has shameless nudity (I mean... it's set in a damn bordello!), and it has some great comedy. However, despite being entertaining, it isn't as good as DK, and it isn't hard to see why it flopped at the box office.
Acting: For the most part, not bad. Dennis Miller has the standout performance as smartass detective Rafe Guttman, a role in which he is cast perfectly. I have a feeling that he improvised alot of his lines (or else the role was written specifically for him), and he is genuinely funny to watch. Also enjoyable to see is Reverend J.C. Current, suitably amen'd
Corey Feldman's feeling a bit heartless
The big letdown for me was Angie Everheart as Lilith.
Baby, you can suck more than just my blood
Script: Piss-poor. But come on; it's a movie about a bordello full of vampires, and a Tales from the Crypt movie to boot. If you came here expecting a high-quality script, you must be (at least) mildly retarded.
Definitely gonna feel THAT in the morning
Overall: This is not a film that takes itself seriously. I mean... how is that possible in a movie in which a detective and a reverent take on a whorehouse full of vampires with supersoakers and water pistols? What it is... is wickedly entertaining. So sit back, crack open a beer with some mates, pass the spliff, and just enjoy.
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