SomeoneMovie Review: Season of the Witch
April 3rd 2011 12:12
Plot: A couple of bad-ass knights (Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman) witness the slaugher of women and children during the crusades, and desert from the army. They return home to discover their homeland in the grips of the black plague, and are quickly discovered to be deserters and taken into custody. While in jail, they meet the girl accused of being the witch that caused the plague, and are told they must transport her to a distant abbey so that monks can perform a ritual to end the plague. They get together some
SotW is a movie that can't make it's mind up. It tries to be Lord of the Rings, The Exorcist, and maybe just a hint of Kingdom of Heaven, but just falls horribly flat on all accounts. As a fantasy epic, it's just too damn small. You've got the fantasy, but it's just not epic enough. They go 'round some mountains, over a rickety bridge (which OF COURSE falls into the chasm as soon as they get over) and through a forest, and there they are. Epic? Hardly. As a fantasy movie, it's too dark and maybe a bit too gory. The Harry Potter fan-club will not be frothing over this like they were with The Sorceror's Apprentice. That being said, as a horror it's not nearly dark or gory enough. As a psychological thriller (they lamely try and leave the guilt or innocence of the accused witch ambiguous for as long as possible), it just fails, since it's perfectly obvious from the very beginning.
Script: Bad. The premise is interesting, and with a bit of work could have been a great setup for the movie. Unfortunately the writers obviously realized that they could churn out standard fantasy fare with minimal effort and get away with it, so decided to go with that. The dialogue is sub-par, and in some parts really, really cheesy, and the 'twist' (you knew there would be one) is just stupid.
************************Epic Spoiler Alert************************
I'm ruining the ending here, so if you want to see the movie and want to experience the stupidity for yourself, skip to the next paragraph. The ending twist is that the girl isn't a witch at all, and is actually a demon. This demon wanted to be transported to the abbey so that it could get it's hands on a holy book containing all the exorcism rites and rituals, which the monks were planning on copying out and disseminating worldwide. Bear in mind, the whole abbey had already been killed by the plague. So, instead of taking a leisurely stroll to the abbey, the demon decided it would be a better idea to be transported there by some knights and priests, who obviously would oppose and try to kill it. Forgive me if I'm a little underwhelmed by it's devilish cunning.
Acting: Nicholas Cage can infuriate me like pretty much no one else can.
Effects: Lame CGI. The effects are where blockbusters tend to shine, since
come here and gimme a kiss
Overall, this one's a definite disappointment. An interesting premise and a huge budget spoiled by poor scripting and average acting. Not worth seeing at the movie, but watchable over beer and popcorn if you're renting.
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