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Picking the rare gems out of a sea of crap.... so you don't have to!

Evil Pleasures - August 2009

Movie Review: District 9

August 17th 2009 14:06


Premise: Aliens land on Earth, with their ship settling to hover above Johannesburg. Instead of a delegation or an army, it appears the aliens are refugees and their ship has shut down. They are moved to a camp beneath the ship, which quickly devolves into a slum, walled in and ruled by gangs. Fast forward 20 years, and inter-species tensions are at breaking point. Seeking to control the situation, the government hires MNU (Multi-National United) to evict the million aliens, and move them to another camp further outside the city, where they will not cause so many problems.


All I can say about this movie is... wow. Absolutely incredible. Star Trek blew me away, like only a truly breathtaking sci-fi movie can, and this is a feeling similar to what District 9 delivers.

Script: Mind-blowingly excellent. It raises more questions than it answers, but not through plot holes (which is a nice change). I've been reading alot of criticism of the script online, but if you pay attention and think about things a little, there really aren't very many. Just because the movie doesn't spell everything out for you, doesn't mean it's got a weak script.

The parallels with apartheid, and more recently with the racial tensions in South Africa, are easy to draw, and the movie is brutal in it's portrayal. The lives that the 'prawns' lead are not happy ones, and perhaps more disturbing is the fact that the shantytown used in the set is an actual place, evacuated during filming and it's residents moved to upgraded government housing (oddly echoing the events of the film). The only shack created for the film was that of the main prawn, Christopher Johnson. It's a depressing scene, and the fact that these aliens live the lives that human beings actually lead is never too far out of your thoughts during the movie.


Speaking of Christopher Johnson, the idea of giving such an odd looking alien a human name is pure genius. It's such an ordinary sounding name, for such an odd creature. Over the course of the movie, we come to empathize with Christopher Johnson and the downtrodden prawns more than the brutal and oppressive humans, and by the end of the movie I genuinely cared whether or not they were going to succeed. Some of the merit for that goes to the script, which was surprisingly unpredictable. I went in knowing very little about the movie, and had no idea where the movie was headed. Given the glut of predictable, flimsily-scripted films that I have seen lately, it's nice to be entertained like that.

Perhaps the triumph of the movie is, I hate to say it, the CGI. Being a horror man, I the idea of CGI usually doesn't sit right with me, but District 9 is something special. The movie had a budget of (only) $30 million, yet it easily has the look and feel of a $200 million dollar movie. Not once was the movie let down by weak CGI, from the superbly detailed mothership to the alien exo-skeleton (straight out of Aliens and on steroids) and it's impressive arsenal. There were come excellent moments of brutality that left everyone in the cinema a little stunned, especially involving one of the alien fighting-suits.

Acting: The lead, Sharlto Copley, is not a professional actor. He was a sniper in Alive In Joburg, the short on which this film was based, and has no intention of pursuing an acting career. Despite his lack of experience, he displays some pretty hefty acting chops, and puts in a fine performance. David James plays a pretty mean bad guy, as do the various Nigerian gangsters.

Now, it turns out that Blomkamp was working on the Halo movie adaptation, and when that fell through Peter Jackson came to him and said "Here's $30 million, make whatever you want", with District 9 being the result. I have heard unverified rumors that they took the unfinished halo movie and cannibalized it to make this one... and, seeing as I played a lot of Halo back in the day, I did notice some striking similarities. For instance, the white-ish rifle that the marines use is clearly modeled on a Battle Rifle, and some of the alien weapons bear resemblance to covenant weaponry. Of course the movie has nothing to do with Halo, so it isn't necessary to know this, but still worth keeping an eye out for if you're a fan of the games.

Overall... Just great sci-fi. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and will definitely be seeing it again before it leaves the cinemas.
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Movie Review: Push

August 17th 2009 13:00
Before I begin, I know Push isn't a horror movie, and as such probably doesn't belong here. However, since I am the Alpha and the Omega, I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.



Premise: A government agency (The Division) has been experimenting on psychics and turning them into weapons. No one has survived an injection of an experimental drug meant to boost their powers, that is until they inject Camilla Belle, who subsequently survives and escapes with a sample of the drug. It is then up to two rogue psychics to hunt her down and help bring down the Division.

Now, Push does have some interesting ideas. Instead of psychics being all the same, there are different kinds. Watchers see the future; Movers can move stuff with their mind; Pushers can make people believe/do what they want (think Charles Xavier). Sniffs can tell where an object has been and is going to go by sniffing it; the list goes on. Maybe the weirdest are the bleeders, who can release some kind of psychic scream that can shatter glass, make fish explode, and scramble peoples' brains.

I mentioned Charles Xavier above, and I think the parallels with X-Men have to be made. It's about a group of humans, born with special gifts and persecuted by the government. However, where X-Men explores the morality of persecution and tries to make a subtle point about society in general, Push is content to merely use the idea of psychics to make a few cool action scenes, leaving the deeper context unexplored, I feel to the film's detriment.

The idea of precognition is another one that's looked into... however, the way they did it annoyed me. Hear me out: Apparently the watchers can see the future, but they work based on intention. For example, if someone decides to go out the door, the watcher sees them going out the door... Therefore, if you go on the run without making any decisions (ie. Travel without a destination, flip a coin to decide which way to go, etc), then you can avoid being caught.
Is it just me or does that mean they have telepathy rather than precognition? They aren't seeing the future, they are seeing what people decide to do, so basically they're reading their minds.
This is just one little plot hole, and if you look closely you can pick them up all over the place. I'm not going to go into them, because alot of them frustrate me and I'd rather not think about them anymore.

The acting is... well, about what you'd expect from a brainless action movie. Everyone goes through the motions, but none of the characters are easy to engage with. Dakota Fanning is meant to be the tortured innocent child character with huge responsibility thrust upon her, but she just comes across and whining and annoying. I think that's more the script than anything against her, though, she was probably doing the best with what she was given.

Overall... Some cool effects, a couple of neat ideas, all bundled together with an oh-so-predictable story arc and cliched ending. Probably not worth your time, but possibly worth watching if you get really high/drunk beforehand.


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Part 2 of the Sci-Fi Channel Crock of Shit Double Feature Extravaganza!



Premise: A group of voracious snakehead fish decimate the fish population of a lake before the lake is poisoned, supposedly killing them off. A few years later, the snakeheads are back, only this time they're huge, and start eating everyone. Oh and they can walk on land. Oh, and one of them is the size of a whale. Yeah, it's that kind of movie.

This, alone, couldn't have killed 'Sy-Fi' (that will now on be referred to as Sci-Fi, because the whole rebranding is mind-numbingly stupid) for me. I have fond memories of the channel... going over to a friends house who had cable and catching the latest Battlestar Gallactica episodes (which is quite possibly the best sci-fi series ever, right up alongside Firefly, Stargate SG-1 and even The X-Files. And a ways back I reviewed Altered, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Unfortunately, it seems that the fun ended along with Battlestar. I've seen a number of Sci-Fi channel movies in the recent past, and they have pretty much been the same story over and over again, with a little twist in each one. Start with a flashback to the beginnings/Last attack of (insert bad-guy here). Introduce supporting character, who knows details of the plot, usually someone knowledgeable in the field of (bad-guy). Often Supporting Character is related to one member of the main duo, be it as father/brother/friend/etc. Then introduce hapless victims, mixed gender, usually teenagers. They come across some evidence of (bad guy), but don't realize exactly what is happening. Main duo (guy/girl) will get some indication of what's going on, and while they are investigating it their friends will start dying. They realize, and start trying to stop (bad guy). They come up with a plan; which subsequently fails. Supporting character will then sacrifice themselves to stop/slow down (Bad Guy), allowing main duo to finish the job, and live happily ever after.... until there is some invariably stupid twist allowing Bad Guy/Spawn of Bad Guy to survive and star in the sequels!

There are some small variations. Supporting Character doesn't always die, and on rare occasions there isn't a twist. Oh, an interesting fact for y'all, the name of Bad Guy, More often than not, the name of Bad Guy can be found in the title. Locusts had locusts, Snakehead has the snakeheads, Pumpkinhead has... well, you get the idea.

Plot: About as hole-y as you would expect from a movie of this title. I'm only going to point out some choice plot holes, as describing all of them would ruin the movie for you... ha. Lets start with the snakeheads. They can walk on land, but who am I to say that the fish can't do that. They grow to enormous size... because someone is dumping human growth hormone in the lake. Like I mentioned, one is whale sized... because a lake would totally have enough food for an animal to reach that size.... other than that, totally plausible, although surprisingly none of the others seem to be longer than 10 feet.

Next... SPOILER!... well, sort of, this movie really sort of spoils itself.

They kill the snakeheads by electrocuting the lake. They cut a power line that's feeding a town, and drop it into a lake. It then sends an electric pulse through the lake, killing all the snakeheads. Mightily convenient that all the fish happened to be in the lake, seeing as they had been roaming around the land right up until then. I'm no physicist, but wouldn't a power line dropped in a lake do very little? It's a lot of water....

What's that, I hear you cry? Horror movies require a little suspension of belief? It would appear in the act of being suspended, belief got tangled up and hung itself.

The acting is terrible. Nothing worth mentioning.

The effects are typical sci-fi... better than some, but pretty terrible. I laughed at them.

Gore is pretty tame. Again, nothing worth mentioning.

Overall... Avoid it. Please, for the love of god, avoid it. I have lost all hope of seeing anything resembling quality being produced by Sci-Fi, and the dumb-ass rebranding just makes it that much easier... Sci-Fi holds some fond memories for me... Sy-Fy can suck my nuts.

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