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Picking the rare gems out of a sea of crap.... so you don't have to!

Evil Pleasures - June 2009

Movie Review: Eskalofrío (Shiver)

June 22nd 2009 04:27


Premise: Santi (Julio Valverde), a boy with an allergy to direct sunlight, and his mother (Mar Sodupe) move to an isolated village, where the geography means less direct sunlight and more freedom. When they get there, Santi realizes that there is someone, or something, lurking in the woods. When it starts murdering people, Santi is accused, and must prove his innocence before either the thing in the woods or the villagers target him.


I'm not going to beat around the bush: This movie is fantastic. My DVD was shithouse, and didn't come with the original Spanish soundtrack, only the English dubbing. However, despite that, this movie impressed the hell out of me.

Acting: Hats off all round. Valverde does an excellent job as the protagonist, and we can clearly see the fear and determination in his character. Alot is asked of him, as his character carries the entire movie, but he is certainly up to the challenge. The supporting characters, while not as impressive as the lead, all hold their own, and provide convincing performances.

Normally, I tend to enjoy movies more if there is a certain level of visceral satisfaction. Don't get me wrong, I love tension in movies, but I am still a little bit of a gorehound at heart. That being said, this movie did not have much gore... and I wouldn't have it any other way. We get to see one disembowled animal, and that's about as gory as this movie gets. However, like I said, this film doesn't suffer for it.


There's a formula I have seen developing in run-of-the-mill horrors. For the first third-ish of the movie, we only catch glimpses of the killer/thing/whatever, as the director tries to create a bit of tension. Then, after it is revealed, all thought of tension is put aside and the creature/killer/whatever gets heaps of screen time as it kills off most of the remaining characters.
Thankfully, Eskalofrío avoids this formulaic approach. Yes, for the first portion of the movie, we only catch glimpses of the 'forest-dweller' (trying to be vague here), and the tension is almost palpable. However, once we've had a good look at it, we go back to just glimpses. This is a breath of fresh air, and helps to sustain the tension right up until the thrilling climax.
Also, I read a complaint about the pacing of the movie. I wish I could remember where, so I could tell the author what an idiot he is. By Hollywood standards, the movie is slow-paced. The action doesn't occur well into the second half of the movie. Clearly, the focus is on creating tension, which the movie does highly successfully. The slow pace helps keep the audience tense, and although there is a lack of 'action', this movie kept me engaged and, I have to admit, fearful, which I don't think has happened since I watched Alien for the first time a while back.

This movie manages to combine artistry and tension, and thus is able to shock and awe, which is what you want from a great horror. Pilar Revuelta (who shared in the Oscar for best achievement in art direction for Pan's Labyrinth) served as the production designer for Eskalofrío, so you would expect a good deal of artistry, which this movie delivers. As you might gather from the premise, the movie plays strongly on the struggle between light and darkness, both literally and figuratively. Also worth mentioning is the use of the scenery... this movie makes great use of the forest setting, which is so often under-utilized in the horrors I have seen.

Overall, as I said at the start, fantastic film. I haven't seen El Orfanato yet, but it looks like there are some fantastically artistic movies coming out of Spain (if this and Pan's are anything to go by), so it definitely won't be long 'til I do.
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Film Review: Doomed

June 19th 2009 23:41


Premise: 10 convicts are offered a full pardon and 50 million dollars if they can win a game show. They are split in to teams of two, and placed on a remote island with one goal: to reach the other side of the island. Sounds simple, except the island is crawling with zombies.

Now, the premise sounds pretty goofy, and that's exactly how I would describe this movie: Just plain goofy. While a couple of the characters are tolerable to watch, most of them are annoying and instead of sympathizing with the plight of the characters, you spend your time hoping that they will die. The rest are just... well, goofy.

At first, I thought the script would be the worst thing about the movie. I mean, come on. Surely they could be a bit more inventive with game show names than 'Survival Island 2020'. That about sums up all of the creativity that went into this one. However, once I had seen the movie, I was sold: the script isn't that bad, at least not in comparison to this films worst trait: it's direction.

The directing of this movie is possibly one of the most botched jobs ever done. There are so many things about it that annoy me, but I'll stick to the main points. Firstly, every time there was a zombie on screen, we got the super-shaky-hand-held camera effect... but it was like the cameraman was having a seizure, during an earthquake. About the best thing going for this movie is the zombie costumes, which actually look pretty cool. However, the audience has no time to appreciate this, because every single time there is a zombie on screen, the camera is doing it's best impression of clothes in the dryer. Well, actually in retrospect there is one single scene where we get to see a zombie with a steady camera, but that zombie is behind a force field (I'm not even kidding) so that doesn't really count.

If it was just the shaky camera overdose, I might be able to forgive it as a horrendous but forgivable mistake... but the crappiness doesn't stop there. Every time they want to change scene, we get a (badly animated) 3D map and zoom in to whichever character or location the next scene is set in. For every single damn scene change. Even if 2 teams are in the same part of the island, we get 2 separate zoom-ins into the same part of the island. Oh, and it doesn't stop there. Every time a character dies, we get this awfully annoying 'transmission lost' sequence, which by the end of the movie is just grating on your last nerve.

Oh that's not even the worst of it. The most annoying part of the movie is that during every action sequence, every time someone lands a blow, there's a little pause and a point value pops up on screen. For example, someone gets kicked in the side, and everything will freeze for a split seconds and text will appear saying 'body shot - 200 points). Sure, that might have been an interesting concept, but they just use it over and over and over again until it just gets annoying. Maybe if they used it for every kill, but watching 2 guys punch each other with the movie stopping and starting once every second isn't fun to watch, it's irritating.

I'm about done ranting now, but there is one more thing. Generally movies with good (or bad?) looking zombies have decent gore-effects, seeing as a higher effects budget generally means a higher costumes budget as well. However, Doomed is quite deceptive in this regard. Obviously the producers spent every last cent on their zombie costumes, and had no money left for effects. Their solution? Just don't have any effects. So we get the zombie-pileup effect, where the horde of zombies all jump on their victim, conveniently obscuring them from view and not requiring any special effects. So, we don't get any juicy headshots, missing limbs or disembowelment in this one... and for a zombie movie this bad, that's just adding insult to injury.

That's all from me folks. Maybe, with a script rewrite, a different director, some recasting, and some decent effects, this could have been a decent movie. However, it is not, so don't even bother.
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Movie Review: Sympathy

June 19th 2009 05:41


Premise: A bank robber abducts a girl and hides out in a motel, with the intent of driving to an airport in Canada the following day. During the night, the bank robber and the girl are both themselves taken hostage by an escaped convict. As events unfold in the motel room, we begin to learn about each of the characters, and discover that no-one is what they seem.

In a nutshell: This movie is really a gem of low-budget cinema. It should be used as a 'how-to' guide for shooting on a tight (read: 0) budget. Apparently (according to imdb), the last 20 minutes of the movie was shot with only the director and 3 cast members present, with the off-camera crew members operating the boom mics and camera.... and it was shot in an unheated barn with temperatures ranging from 100 - 0 degrees. And yet, the movie does not suffer from it at all, with the quality you would expect from a much higher budget offering.

Sympathy is not your typical horror movie. In fact, I wouldn't even describe it as a horror at all, more a psychological thriller. The film is set entirely in the one motel room, and as I said only contains the three cast members.

First up, the acting was above-average for a movie of this budget. With no effects or props to distract the audience, the emphasis is placed solely on the 3 characters, who each carry the movie in their own way. My personal favourite was Aaron Boucher, who did an excellent job of playing the psychopathic escaped convict. Steven Pritchard was probably the weakest of the three as the bumbling bank robber, but still put in a convincing performance.

The script itself is quite entertaining, and even though there are no set changes the audience remains engaged. I'm trying not to give too much away here, so I'll remain vague... As I mentioned previously, no one is what they seem, and the twists and turns the plot follows are quite unpredictable, so I was pleasantly surprised. The final twists that occur at the climax are probably the strongest point of the movie, with the last 5 mins or so being quite fantastic.

Overall, definitely worth a look. I'm calling it great horror, simply for achieving such results with such a low budget. Although it doesn't hold it's own against Alien or The Thing, and isn't really a horror, still a great movie and a shining example of low-budget film-making.

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Movie Review: War of the Dead

June 17th 2009 05:13


Premise: A trio of nazi soldier zombies is hunting down the members of the platoon that killed them, and it's up to a member of an x-files-like government agency to stop them


[ Click here to read more ]
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As I explained before, I lost a review of each of these movies, so basically I'm going to just do one review to cover the both of them. Don't worry, you won't miss much, they're basically the same movie


[ Click here to read more ]
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Movie Review: Rise: Blood Hunter

June 14th 2009 09:32
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Let me paint a pretty picture for you. Someone (me) has a nice, working laptop, which doesn't fuck up while trying to perform the simplest of tasks... Like opening a .pdf file in firefox, watching movies without interruption, or posting on orble. This is a beautiful place. Everyone is happy here.

This, unfortunately, is not where we are. We live in a miserable, hateful place, where someone's computer hates him and refuses to do anything he wants


[ Click here to read more ]
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Movie Review: Bug

June 11th 2009 04:42


Premise: A woman named Agnes (Ashley Judd), is being stalked by her newly released from jail, abusive ex-husband, Jerry (Harry Connick Jr.). Meanwhile, a friend brings over a guy named Peter for her to meet (Michael Shannon), and the two hit it off. Turns out things aren't as simple as they seem, when it turns out that Peter is on the run from the army, who were performing experiments on him in a military hospital


[ Click here to read more ]
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Deep Rising

June 10th 2009 01:39


Premise: A captain and crew are hired for a no-questions-asked mission by a group of mean looking mercenaries, which it turns out are heading out to rob the most expensive cruise liner ever built. When they get there, however, the crew and passengers are all missing, and blood is everywhere. They then get attacked by monster, try to escape, yadda yadda yadda... it isn't exactly the most original storyline in the world


[ Click here to read more ]
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Alien Apocalypse

June 4th 2009 09:45


There are some actors out there, and you will watch anything they are in. Everyone's list is different, but we all have them. These fall into 2 categories. Some of them, it's because they are always in good movies. Personally, I think Kevin Spacey falls into this category, I haven't seen him in a bad movie to date. And then there's that special breed of actors where, even if the movie stinks to high heaven, you can appreciate them


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Dying God

June 2nd 2009 14:27


Premise: Some kind of god/demon-type creature is dying, and for some reason this makes it necessary to rape anything that comes nearby. Not in a figurative sense, literally. Because, you know, what better than a little cancer to bring out the nympho in you


[ Click here to read more ]
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Horror vs Thriller

June 1st 2009 05:23
Can someone please explain to me the difference between a horror and a thriller? I've wondered for a while, but I went looking for The Thing at my local video store, and apparently no, it's a thriller, not a horror. There are a whole heap of movies that I would classify as horror sitting on the thriller shelves... but it seems wrong to me to have The Thing sitting right above The Usual Suspects. Don't get me wrong, they are two of my favourite movies, but it just doesn't seem right to say they are the same genre.
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