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Picking the rare gems out of a sea of crap.... so you don't have to!

Evil Pleasures - May 2009

The Devil's Chair

May 28th 2009 06:29
Warning! Spoilers!



Premise: A healed mental patient is released to the care of a psychology professor, who along with 3 students takes the man back to the abandoned mental hospital where the man claims a chair took his girlfriend 4 years prior, in an attempt to discover what really happened.


As I mentioned in my previous review, twists are a hard thing to get right in a movie. If done badly, and they're hard to do well, they can ruin a movie (think M. Night Shyamalan. The Village, The Happening... eugh). However, if done well, they can define a movie, elevate it, make it stick with you long after the movie is over, and make you watch it again and again. Think back to the first time you saw Fight Club, or The Usual Suspects. Hell, even The Sixth Sense.

Mmm... Comfy.


Back to the movie at hand. The first hour and ten minutes is fairly standard Hollywood horror-by-numbers... the chair is a gateway to another realm, in which a blood-demon is killing whoever comes through. There are the standard cliched twists, like the evil professor and the man not actually being crazy, and you are thinking wow, what a waste of a promising movie.


I am warning again of spoilers, I am about to totally ruin the movie.

And then the last 10 minutes just blow you away. Turns out the majority of the movie, borrowing heavily from Identity, is just a representation of the main character's mental struggle. What follows this realization is a brutal 10 minute sequence in which the main character slaughters everyone else with an axe.

Now, the last 10 minutes are easily the most disturbing of the movie, even though there is little gore. There's alot of blood splashed around, but the actual gore is always just off screen... What makes it disturbing is how the first hour-ish of the movie is spent building the main character up as a hero, who risks his own life to try and save one of the students, and then cutting to reality, in which he is raping said blood-soaked student. Creepy stuff.

What also makes it believable is the acting. Now, I have a couple of bones to pick with the casting, which I will get to shortly, but overall the acting was above average. Best among them is the lead (Andrew Howard),

who does a good job handling the shift from sane hero to psychopathic killer. I also didn't mind the blonde student (Elize Du Toit), who isn't half bad.

However, what the hell were they thinking when they cast Matt Berry in a serious movie. It could be because I'm a fan of The IT Crowd, but I cannot possibly ever take that guy seriously. Ever.

Also, the Professor was way too melodramatic to be realistic... however, seeing as he was part of an illusion, and seeing how the Narrator (Howard) himself comments on how it's like a crap B-grade movie, it's entirely plausible that this was done on purpose.

Overall... probably not one of the twists that will stick with you for the rest of your life (come on, you know Fight Club will), but if you get 50 minutes through the movie and you're about to turn it off... just let it run. The last 10 minutes I feel more than make up for the rest of the movie. Especially the ending, in which the main character, soaked in blood, drives away with his imaginary girlfriend. Probably worth a watch, but there are definitely better movies out there.

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John Carpenter, Back in Action?

May 27th 2009 04:53
Personally, I think John Carpenter has brought us some excellent movies. The Thing is one of my favourite horror movies of all time, and I was a big fan of Escape from New York... hell, I even liked Escape from L.A., even though it had nothing on the original.

However, Mr. Carpenter has been M.I.A. since Ghosts of Mars (2001). It is with a mixed sense of trepidation and delight that I see he is back in action, with no less than 3 movies due out next year (1 announced, 2 in pre-production). I can't find many details about these movies...

However, one of them is called 'The Prince', and it's a horror... I can only assume it's a remake of his 1987 movie Prince of Darkness. What's even more disturbing is at the top of his IMDB film list is They Live and Escape from New York. If anyone has IMDB Pro, please, share the details of these movies.

Could it be that simply returning to The Thing wasn't enough? Will we see someone try to compete with Kurt Russel for the title of Snake Plissken? I guess only time will tell... but I hope not.
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Room 6

May 26th 2009 14:32

Premise: Following a car accident, a the boyfriend of a school teacher is taken away by an ambulance, but the school-teacher girlfriend cannot find him in any of the surrounding hospitals. She is joined by the other party in the crash, who has lost his sister to the same mysterious ambulances. Meanwhile, the boyfriend awakes from the crash in a strange hospital, St. Rosemary's, at which nothing is what it seems.

Spoilers ahead, read on at your own peril.

Now, usually I am a fan of those movies that are a representation of something else... Identity being a prime example, or Secret Window, or Fight Club... but I can't really say this appreciation extends to Room 6.

The movie is basically the main character's struggle with self forgiveness, following a tragic event involving her father in her youth. She sees demons, which are her inner demons. The movie is pretty blunt about it to. "You belong here with us" gets thrown around alot. And that's really where the difference lies. That moment of realization is really what defines those movies (Think back to the first time you saw The Usual Suspects. You know what I'm talking about), and Room 6 is really lacking. One of the great things about those realization movies is that you can watch them again, and every time you pick up that extra subtle hint, that slight nuance that is a clue of what is to come. There isn't any of that in Room 6.

The rest of the movie, unfortunately, doesn't make up for this shortfall.
Got any change?
The demon outfits are on the whole quite impressive. For those of you that are interested, Mr. Burny-face in the picture is none other than Mr. Jason Vorhees himself. However, you would hardly notice it in the 2 minutes of screen time he gets. However... that's really where the good bits end. The plot is mildly entertaining, but doesn't make any sense really. There are vampire nurses... for absolutely no reason at all. But that doesn't stop them from getting topless and having a blood-orgy, oh certainly not! However, it only lasts for 20 seconds, so it isn't enough to make up for the rest of the plot. And there are references to a weird dream that the main character has... that really has nothing at all to do with the story.

Also... Christine Taylor should stick to letting Ben Stiller put his dick in her. She is ridiculously awful in this movie. She runs for her life from monsters... at a jogging pace. Very convincing, Christine. Very convincing indeed. The worst thing was... she wasn't alone. Jerry O'Connell puts in a bland and uninteresting performance, has a mild twist associated with his character that you can easily spot as soon as his character is introduced. And really, you can't take the guy seriously in anything he does. Shane Brolly does an awfully good job of appearing uninterested in the weird occurrences in the hospital around him.

So yeah... tries to be Jacob's Ladder, but falls far short. Probably not worth your time, even for the topless vampire nurse blood orgy.
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Komodo Vs Cobra

May 24th 2009 21:38


There's something about 'vs'... The way I see it, having it in a title just means that means the movie will be disappointing. Friday the 13th was great, Nightmare on Elm street, great, Freddy vs. Jason... not so great. Alien, awesome, Predator, awesome, Alien vs Predator... not so awesome


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Pumpkinhead 3: Ashes to Ashes

May 24th 2009 12:05


Well, having watched 4 before 3, I figured it was only fair to give this one a go


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Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud

May 21st 2009 02:11


Premise: 2 families, the (snooty) McCoys and the (redneck) Hatfields, have been at war for a years, following a car accident that left one of the Hatfields crippled. However, a Romeo & Juliet-esque love affair between Ricky McCoy (Bradley Taylor) and Jodie Hatfield (Amy Manson) has developed in secret


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Blood Monkey

May 4th 2009 11:57


Premise: A bunch of students are enlisted by an eccentric scientist to help explore an as-yet-uncharted section of jungle, populated by undiscovered flaura and fauna. Little do the students know that the scientist has ulterior motives


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Altered

May 3rd 2009 06:09


I seem to be on a streak of picking decent horror movies, which is a change for me


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I was a blockbuster near my house the other day, looking for a decent horror to watch, and I realized that I had seen a fair chunk of the horror section. Not quite half, but a decent proportion.

So, it got me thinking. And from that thinking came a challenge. I will not rest, I will not eat or sleep or even breathe, until I have watched every movie that the blockbuster horror dept. can throw at me


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