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Picking the rare gems out of a sea of crap.... so you don't have to!

Evil Pleasures - April 2009

Does anyone else feel this way about spoofs?

April 24th 2009 13:10
I just finished watching Spaceballs (again)... and I get the sinking feeling that spoofs just ain't what they used to be.

Let me clarify. In my mind (seeing as I am relatively ignorant of movies that came before my day), there have been 2 phases of spoofs... The first are the ones I grew up with. In here I include Spaceballs (of course), Airplane! (It has another name in Australia... Flying High or something like that), Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Scary Movie, Return of the Living Dead, stuff like that.

To me, these are classic spoofs. They are all movies I am very fond of, and I can watch them again and again.


Then, there are the spoofs of today. I can't quite remember when they started being just so.... bad. In this category I include Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet the Spartans, the more recent Scary Movies... I'm sure there are more, but just thinking about these movies makes me want to kill someone (namely the writers!).

These are the movies that are destroying the spoof genre... I can barely sit through them once (some I have never made it through, and I very, very rarely stop watching midway.

Is it just me, or are spoofs going in a downhill direction really, really fast?

Oh, and I understand there are exceptions to this rule. Most obvious in my mind at the moment is Shaun of the Dead (which is great)... I'm sure we can name some others.
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The Rocky Horror Picture Show

April 23rd 2009 17:34
What can I say about Rocky Horror?

First, let me say this. If you haven't seen it, go and get it. Right now. Then go and get some really good drugs, or a stiff drink (or 10). Consume. Then sit back, put it on, and prepare to have your eyes and quite possibly your sanity blown clean out the back of your skull.

The story: A young couple (Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon) through some flimsy premise happen to be out in the middle of nowhere in a storm when their car breaks down. They walk back to a castle they just passed, in which lives Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry), a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania. It just happens to be the night that the doctor is unveiling his newest creation, Rocky Horror.


Sound twisted? It is, but don't worry. The story really doesn't have much to do with it anyway.

It's the music. This is all about the music. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that this movie contains some of the most memorable songs you will ever see & hear. I wish I had been around when this had come out, I imagine this would have warped more than a couple of minds. I still listen to the songs all the time, they are just fantastic.

The good: Everything. I cannot think of a single flaw in this movie.

The Bad: Like I said, no flaws.

The Ugly: Only the characters that were meant to be.


Just... watch it. Tim Curry is without a doubt THE MAN!
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Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent

April 19th 2009 10:50
I blame it on Anaconda.

Anaconda was a good movie, despite what all the nay-sayers say. The cast was, for the most part, good. Yes, there were exceptions. I don't like J-Lo in any of her movies, and Ice-Cube isn't the greatest actor on the planet, but I think Jon Voight is a superb actor, and Jonathan Hyde is always watchable. Anyways... Overall, the movie was good.

Since then, however, I have not seen a decent giant snake movie. The next best thing that I have seen was Anaconda 2... which was watchable, but not great. Anacondas 3 was just... well, that's a story for another time.

Which brings us to Lockjaw.

Story goes as follows: A boy steals a magic pencil from a voodoo witch doctor type person. After witnessing his dad abusing his mother, he draws a picture of his dad being eaten by a giant snake... which subsequently happens.

Fast forward 40 years or so. Boys childhood friend (who he is living with & dating) digs up the buried magic pencil, and is then accidentally (and unknowingly) run over by a group of teenagers. Guy freaks out and then draws a picture of a giant snake eating the car full of teens. The son of the witch doctor (DMX) then tries to save the teens from the snake.

There are some other plot devices used, but they are predictable old people storylines (grief over a dead loved one) and predictable teen plots (love triangles, etc)... The story is awful, the acting is awful, and even though DMX is printed clearly next to the title, he is barely in the movie. You first see him 50 minutes in, I would say he is in less than 10-15 minutes of the movie.

It should be pretty clear that I like movies that are so bad that they're good. This, unfortunately, is not one of them. It appears that we just have to wait until Anaconda 4 for a decent (?) snake movie.

spoiler: If you plan on watching this (abysmal) movie, stop reading now. I am going to ruin (if that's possible) the ending.

They kill the snake with a bazooka. A fucking bazooka! I mean, he hits it once, and then it comes back without a scratch, but the second rocket takes the snakes entire head off no problem.

I mean, come on. A magical snake that can stab people with it's tail and (somehow) drag off people is going to get hit by a bazooka and then come straight back out to exactly the same spot? Just... awful.
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Skinwalkers

April 17th 2009 00:49
Werewolves exist, but they call themselves Skinwalkers. There are two tribes: Those that view their werewolf aspect as a gift, and those that view it as a curse. There is a native American legend that says a special child will be born, and at midnight on his 13th birthday he will somehow stop the Skinwalkers for good. The skinwalkers will know the child is coming because 4 days before his 13th birthday the moon will turn blood red.

That is the premise for this mediocre werewolf movie. The production value is generally fairly slick, and the action scenes are decent. That being said, let me pose a question


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Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman

April 16th 2009 06:19
I'm going to say this right from the start: The chances are, if you watch this movie, you will hate it. For good reason too. This movie is utterly terrible. Bad acting, bad effects, bad editing, bad directing, everything about it is terrible.

That being said, I found this movie endlessly entertaining. The script, although generally poor, did have some good moments


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The Other Side

April 15th 2009 15:45
I love low budget horror movies. Love them to bits I tells ya. However, contrary to popular belief, I don't think they are good movies. They appeal to me, but not in the same way as a good movie appeals to me (if that makes any sense).

That being said, once in a while you get a pleasant surprise. A gem in the rough, so to speak. This movie is one of them


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Welcome

April 15th 2009 15:41
Does the cheaper side of Hollywood call out to you? Do you have a thing for awful low budget horror movies, or sequels that should never have been made to movies that you have never heard of? Then this might be the the place for you!
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