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Do you lie awake at night thinking of zombies and vampires? Do you like nothing more than watching werewolves tearing helpless victims apart? These are your evil pleasures, and this is where they live.

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Coming Soon & Wish List

July 3rd 2009 13:49
Here I will list all of the movies I have available but have yet to review. Please, if you would like me to review one before the others, feel free to leave a comment and I will probably make it my next (re)viewing.

Also, if you have any movies that you would like to see me review that aren't listed here, just leave a comment and I will do my best to review it as soon as I get the chance.

COMING SOON:

Quarantine
Event 16
The Hive
Seed of Chucky
The Deaths of Ian Stone
My Name Is Bruce
Solstice
Against The Dark
Red Mist
Midnight Movie

The Zombie Diaries
Swamp Devil
Feast 1, 2 & 3
Blackout
The Vanguard
Carnivorous
Larva
Scourge
Dead Noon
Ghouls
Nessie
Mutant Chronicles
Anaconda: Offspring
Nite Tales: The Movie
Alien Raiders
Waterborne
Seeds of Death
The Entrance
Brotherhood of Blood
Dark Floors
Red Sands
King Of The Hill
Dorothy Mills
Trackman
Invasion Of The Pod People
Pulse 2
Alien
Aliens
The Outpost
2001 Maniacs
Severance
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Movie Review: 1408

July 3rd 2009 13:16


Premise: A jaded paranormal investigative author (John Cusack) travels around debunking supposedly haunted locales, despite the fact he has never seen a ghost. That is, until he decides to stay at the notorious room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel, despite the strong protests from the hotel's manager (Samuel L. Jackson).


First up, I am a huge fan of both John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson, so my perceptions of this movie may be a little biased. However, I don't think that is the reason I like this movie so much.

Acting: This movie is basically a one man show, centered entirely around John Cusack's character Mike Enslin. Mr Jackson puts in a suitably ominous performance as the hotel's manager, but the focus is firmly on Cusack, who puts in a fine performance.

Script: I've read a few reviews that say this movie is illogical... and to these naysayers, I have this response: You can find flaws in anything if you look hard enough. However, the flaws in this movie's script are not nearly enough to ruin it for me. Another thing I like about the script is that it doesn't even attempt to explain why the room is 'haunted'. Alot of movies fall flat when they venture off into crappy explanations, and I'm glad 1408 isn't one of them.

Direction: the directing from Mikael Håfström is pretty excellent. The movie is a tension-machine, and in several scenes it is so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. As I've mentioned in other reviews, I generally like a good mix of tension and gore in my horrors, but this movie shows that you don't need alot of gore to make a great horror. My housemate watched this one with me, and she reckons she'll have trouble sleeping tonight.

Score: I was surprisingly impressed by the musical accompaniment to 1408. A tension-based movie can sometimes fall flat with a dull and lifeless score, but the music used in this one adds immensely to the tense atmosphere... especially the use of The Carpenters' 'We've Only Just Begun'...

Effects: This one is high-budget, and the effects are pretty top notch. CGI is used, but quite sparingly compared to other high budget films I've seen recently. However, it is effective when it is used, and the more traditional effects are also effectively used.

Overall: I have a growing fondness for tension-based horror, based on excellent movies like this one. I'm even thinking about revoking my gorehound status and becoming a terror-maniac. Who would have guessed?

Hey, is that a pig flying past my window?
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Premise: Van Helsing kills Dracula, but while he is doing so another vampire turns his VH's into the undead. In revenge, VH makes a pact with the church: He shall be immortal, until he has killed all of the vampire princes.

Fast forward to present day: The vamps are running scared, afraid of incurring Van Helsing's wrath. Then the prince vampire guy gets a taste of blood, and decides to start amassing an army to destroy Van Helsing.

Acting: Pretty shocking all round. Not one stand out performer in the lot, and all standing out would require would be a mediocre performance.

Script: Terrible. Let me rattle off a few examples.

The vampires had been living in fear for many years.... but all it took was for one grunt vampire to steal some blood from a hospital to start a vampire hunting revolution.

Van Helsing is the bane of vampires and has killed countless vamps.... even though he has mediocre fighting ability, and vamps are super strong, super fast and can turn into bats or wolves. Believable, right?

This one is my personal favourite:

"It would be different if they were like wasps, one sting and they're dead, but instead they come back again, and again, and again"

Wasps, as we all know, can sting as many times as they like. It's bees that can only sting once. How did that get through editing?

Moving on: effects.
Unrealistic, but probably the highlight of the movie. The camera rarely stays focused on the gore for more than a split second, so we don't have time to fully appreciate the dodgy gore effects. Although the quick flashes of gore get a little annoying, when you stop the movie to see how poor the effects are, you see they really are best served not being scrutinized too closely. That being said, there are a couple of decent gore scenes, and all good vampire movies need a little bit of gore.

Overall: Tries to ride on Bram Stoker's Dracula's coat-tails, but falls far, far short. A pretty abysmal effort, and not worth your time unless you are starved for vampire action and have seen every other vamp movie you can get your hands on. Even then, probably still a waste of time.

On a side note: As a general rule of thumb, Eagle Entertainment should be avoided at all costs. I had never heard of them before, but they market this movie, along with House of the Dead, Dracula 3000 and Alone in the Dark. I rest my case.

Oh I almost forgot. Half the reason I got this movie in the first place was because of the mean looking bat on the front cover, and the other half was the triple-crossbow (which reminded me alot of the triple-barrel shotgun from Undead). Both are on the cover, yet neither appear at all in the movie. Lying b@$&ards.

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Movie Review: Creepshow 3

July 1st 2009 16:21


First of all: an apology. I have been neglecting my duties as your source of crappy B-grade horror, but I have a fresh batch of (terrible) movies, and as a recent university graduate who has yet to find work, I have a feeling that time to watch them shall not be lacking


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Movie Review: Eskalofrío (Shiver)

June 22nd 2009 04:27


Premise: Santi (Julio Valverde), a boy with an allergy to direct sunlight, and his mother (Mar Sodupe) move to an isolated village, where the geography means less direct sunlight and more freedom. When they get there, Santi realizes that there is someone, or something, lurking in the woods. When it starts murdering people, Santi is accused, and must prove his innocence before either the thing in the woods or the villagers target him


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Film Review: Doomed

June 19th 2009 23:41


Premise: 10 convicts are offered a full pardon and 50 million dollars if they can win a game show. They are split in to teams of two, and placed on a remote island with one goal: to reach the other side of the island. Sounds simple, except the island is crawling with zombies


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Movie Review: Sympathy

June 19th 2009 05:41


Premise: A bank robber abducts a girl and hides out in a motel, with the intent of driving to an airport in Canada the following day. During the night, the bank robber and the girl are both themselves taken hostage by an escaped convict. As events unfold in the motel room, we begin to learn about each of the characters, and discover that no-one is what they seem


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Movie Review: War of the Dead

June 17th 2009 05:13


Premise: A trio of nazi soldier zombies is hunting down the members of the platoon that killed them, and it's up to a member of an x-files-like government agency to stop them


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As I explained before, I lost a review of each of these movies, so basically I'm going to just do one review to cover the both of them. Don't worry, you won't miss much, they're basically the same movie


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Movie Review: Rise: Blood Hunter

June 14th 2009 09:32
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